Seventeen years ago I married the “boy next door” to my college apartment—he was thoughtful, brilliant, and handsome. We married after nine intense months of dating and spent the next ten years becoming the “All-American Couple.” We had lots of money in the bank, traveled extensively, and planned three children. We methodically lived out our goals and plans, barely stopping long enough to look at what we had created. Our marriage and family seemed to be thriving, but I felt frustrated and lonely. I denied constant intuitive feelings that something wasn’t right, and learned to bury them because my husband and my life looked so “perfect.”
Then after ten-and-a-half years of marriage, my husband’s long-kept secret was revealed: he had been having numerous affairs during the length of our marriage. I was repulsed and heartbroken beyond what I thought I could bear. And I had to start looking at the reality of our marriage—it was far from thriving. In fact, it was probably the most troubled relationship of any I knew. In the subsequent weeks, we would learn through counseling that my husband was a sex addict, and had been for as long as I had known him.
As a result of the pain that ensued, I began a healing journey that has brought me to the happiest place I have ever known. This tragedy shook me to my core and uncovered a soul that had been dying a slow death. It has since been re-awakened, and I am living a life that inspires even me. I am thankful for the process and for the long, wonderful, difficult journey.
A powerful and transforming journey of love, loss and finding oneself.
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