I am in the middle of editing a draft (again) of The Bloodstone Queen. In this go round of edits one of the things I am looking for are scenes that just don't help the story along, or characters who only have a short appearance and don't really matter. The following is just such a scene with just such characters. The problem is—I really like this scene and the characters, but they don't appear anywhere else in the story, even though they should. So, I am going to immortalize them in a blog post instead.
Suddenly, a loud male voice interrupted. “Wow, you are gorgeous.”
Damn, the moment was broken, again. Janee turned to give the evil eye to the interrupter. Instead the young Adonis astounded her. He was a young man, pale blond hair, twinkling blue eyes and handsome. Next to him stood a lovely young woman. She looked about the same age, same coloring as the young man, only her eyes didn’t twinkle.
“Excuse me,” Janee uttered, once she found her voice. She asked Thuron, “Should he talk to me like that?”
The young man chuckled, “Shame on you, Lord Thuron, you didn’t tell her about us, did you?”
Janee arched an eyebrow at Thuron. “No, you didn’t tell me about them, did you.”
She heard Thuron groan. “Princess Janee, may I present to you Prince Ruford and Princess Quall”
“We are your cousins,” Prince Ruford proudly announced. “The rightful heirs to the throne,” he threw out as a challenge.
This young prince was really starting to irritate her. And, he picked the wrong morning to challenge her, even subtly.
“Really,” Janee answered back. “And why is that?”
Arrogant now, he inched in closer, standing eye to eye with her. “Because my father was the king.”
“Only after he murdered my father.” Janee inched even closer and whispered, “That doesn’t make you the rightful heir, it makes you the son of a murderer.” She then backed up and smiled at him, “But that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, unless of course you are planning the same thing?”
Janee heard a small gasp behind her. All of the Chancellors had joined them and were watching this little scene of, ‘who’s the rightful heir.’
Prince Ruford looked at the Chancellors, then back at Thuron, before returning his gaze back to her. He squirmed, some of the arrogance knocked out of him.
Janee raised an eyebrow, letting him know she was waiting.
“Of course, Your Grace,” he said. “We are after all family.” He turned to his sister, “Shall we continue?”
The entire time during their exchange, she was silent and never showed any emotion. She took a step forward, then turned to Janee, smiling she said, “Welcome home.”
Janee stood there in a stunned daze as they walked away.
“Are you okay?” Thuron murmured.
Janee turned to look at him, his concern evident on his face. “Yes,” she answered.
We resumed our stroll down the hall. After a few moments she teased, “So, am I gorgeous?”
His answer was a chuckle.
The Author in all of us
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